(VIDEO)Remarkable Relationships, REALLY a Fantastic Formula!
So, I’ve been taught all my life that women are more complex creatures hormonally than men. It turns out that not only is it NOT true, it’s not even CLOSE to being true! Conan O’Brien has Sex Mathematician Clio Cresswell on his show to reveal the mathematical formula for male and female hormones. You will be SURPRISED at who has the most complex formulas! Watch the video below to see why I say that Remarkable relationships, REALLY a Fantastic Formula! It is PG-13 FYI. (IF you subscribe, please click the weblink to view at mikehattabaugh.com)
So, did that surprise you as much as it did me? It turns out the hormonal fluctuations of men are happening more rapidly than women. It might explain a lot of things, but one thing is sure, we don’t really understand the impact of hormonal waves that happen to men daily. Maybe we should spend more time trying to figure out each other and realize that our emotional and physical well-being are changing all of the time. It’s also why we should not take a momentary emotional reaction as the “end” of the discussion and instead try to communicate at another time when the hormones are at a different place. Remarkable Relationships, REALLY a Fantastic Formula!
What do YOU think about the complicated formula for men? What about women? How do you see these affecting your relationships and do they explain anything you already knew? I would LOVE to hear from you in the comments below!
At least once a month a guy wanders into my office to ask me a few questions. It usually goes something like: I really like this girl but she won’t have anything to do with me. What can I do? They are surprised when they find out most of what they do is actually turning her away. Have hope! Most guys have to learn how to get the girl of their dreams. I’m here to help! Follow these steps to win a girl’s heart.
Most girls can tell you their creepy guy story. The guy that tries too hard or tries to force himself on a girl. She is turned off by most of what a guy thinks works to get her. He is surprised when his determination and effort is not only turned away, but she tells him to leave her alone. FOREVER. Poor guy! (more…)
Want to know how to get a man to learn how to treat a woman? Make it about how treating a woman is a lot like taking care of a car. It needs maintenance to keep it functioning at it’s very best. When you take care of a car, you make it look better and last longer. Relationships need constant upkeep and attention. So, get your man reading relationship articles – start with this one!
Here is my article I wrote for the Farmington Daily Times on how men need to think about their wives the same way they think about car maintenance. Let me know what you think!
Click the link to get the full article, then come back and tell me what you think:
How to Avoid Looking Like a Fool in Your Relationship
It’s the end of the week, and you are so looking forward to a weekend with your partner. You have imagined all week about your time with them. You meet them to begin your time together, and……. fast forward:
The weekend was a total wreck.
Nothing went right. You had all of these plans, and all you did was fight or be disappointed that they didn’t want to spend the time with you the way you wanted.
Guys make the mistake of planning their life seperate from their partner. Dr. Hattabaugh encourages you to plan your life together. If you think about what kind of partner can DO life with you, you will be much happier with your results!
Plan your life TOGETHER!
Ladies, help a guy out and send him to this video. You will improve his life!
Want more help with what women want? Sign up for my email to get every new video and blog AND a FREE Ebook! Or go to my Video page for the entire How to Be an AMAZING Guy Series.
This is the FIRST of my new VBlog for Men! Ladies – I have heard a LOT of you ask me to give you something to help your guy. THIS is it! They will be 1-2 minutes, fun and MANLY! So watch them and share them with your man! Then, leave a comment below and include subjects you would like me to give tips on!
I recently realized that the past 28 years I had primarily invested in my marriage and family. I could have focused on fame. I could have focused on money. I now know – I made the right choice.
A young, energetic man walked up to me the other day as I was leaving a store and tried to hand me a card and tell me about his opportunity.
“Let me tell you about how to…...” he said.
Cutting him off I replied “Not today……”
Now usually, this is enough for most engagements like this. Girl Scouts selling cookies, volunteers collecting for very worthy causes….. BUT not this guy. He quickly replied with even more urgency:
“Then how about tomorrow, or the next day, or any day next week?”
I responded with a smile and a dismissing wave: “I’m not from here.“
Satisfied I had used my amazing communication prowess to once again vanquish anyone who would try to puncture my Teflon veneer to engage me in a sales “opportunity”, I turned again toward my car, secretly feeling victory.
I was wrong.
“Where do you live? My company is in 90 countries, surely we are somewhere near where you live?” he shot back with laser quickness.
Master of language. Slayer of excuses. This guy was good. REALLY good.
I know that a lot of you like me have prepared a defense for door-to-door salespeople, street beggars, and even really cute cookie sales kids. You know you don’t need those cookies, but you can’t pass up the big eyes and unison robotic “Will you buy some Girl Scout cookies?” I have gone back the car for the last dollar to buy those Thin Mints I don’t need.
But how many defenses do you use on the people you love the most?
I want to talk about how you do this to the most important people you love. The people you take pictures with every holiday. The people you say you would sacrifice for. The people you even share your bed with. I’m guessing you, like me, are pretty good at deflecting the needs of the very people who want you the most. So, whether you need to invest more in your spouse, partner, children, or parents.
Here is the blunt truth:
You don’t GIVE the most important people in your life the things they need.
You know it, deep down. You have a list of excuses and like the above story, phrases you have prepared to get them off your back. You have important things to do, like checking Facebook, playing balloon pop, watching San Acorn State play Popcorn U., or some other time taking option.
What does it mean to give to the people you love the most?
I already wrote about this in general sense in my blog here:
but, I want to give you some specific ways to give to the people you love the most. Maybe some of these you haven’t tried or thought of before. You can’t buy them at a store, they are a mindset that you must create in yourself if you want to deeply connect to the people you love the most.
The 3 things that REALLY matter to the people who need us the most are; TIME, PRESENCE, and ACTION.
So let’s unpack them one at a time.
1. GIVE the gift of TIME.
We live in such a high-energy society that takes so much time to just keep up. We never seem to have enough time, and yet this is exactly why we need to give it. There is a direct correlation between a person’s socioeconomic status and free time. The very wealthy and the very poor have a lot of free time, but everyone else falls into the truth – the more you make, the less time you have.
How do you find time? Schedule it FIRST. When I was a pastor I told my assistant the nights I had reserved for my wife and family. When someone wanted me to come to something the assistant looked at my calendar and said, “I’m sorry, but he’s already booked that night.” This kept me from pushing the most important people in my life, my family, to the end of my line. I always made those soccer games, Friday night dates, and dance recitals.
When you schedule the people you love FIRST, your priorities will follow. I have known far too many people who succeeded in their professional life, but lost the people they loved the most because they didn’t give the gift of time.
Get this one right, and the rest of your life will make a lot more sense.
2. GIVE the gift of your PRESENCE.
We have all experienced talking with someone who isn’t focused on us. It is very frustrating. I have never met a person who meant to do this, but we all have. If you have a habit of being present physically but your thoughts are somewhere else, let me help you change your focus.
When we are not fully present, we are really saying that something else is more important right now, but I am “obligated” to be here. Like a dog can sense fear, humans can sense when you are not completely available.
While we have become so “connected” with our technology, when we don’t leave work behind when we are with others, we cheat them of our best, and they know it. Learn to find ways to give all of yourself to the people you love the most. They will cherish it.
Start by finding times to unplug from things outside of your personal time. Leave your phone at home on a date. Walk away from the email at 5 o’clock. Learn to never answer your kids questions with “uh-huh” but give them a full answer. I have decided to NEVER answer my phone when I am talking with someone face to face (emergencies excluded). You might find you need the time away from your work as much as your family needs you.
3. GIVE the gift of ACTION.
The quickest way to my wife’s heart is at the sink….doing dishes. Words that say we love someone that are not backed up with solid, demonstrated action are hollow. I must admit, while I can be pretty good at the first 2 on this list, I am still learning to serve through action.
Action is about showing someone you love them. Go with them to an event they want to go to you don’t. Do the chore they hate the most. Bring them flowers for no reason. Grab your husband by the hand and take him to the bedroom and lock the door.
Action speaks louder than words they say, so go ahead and move! You might be surprised at the positive effect.
These 3 gifts are not things – they are deeply connected to your soul. The wisdom I have gained in 28 years of marriage, parenting and teaching has shown me that giving my time, presence and action to the people I love the most gives them the best of me and that is what they deserve!
Now, GO love somebody!
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Today is not just Veterans day, it is the Birthday of the US Marine Corp! I want to share something different many don’t know about American soldiers. I heard it last night on a new documentary about Iwo Jima. The only surviving Japanese soldier who came to the memorial this year, Tsurji Akikusa, who was saved by a Marine, is interviewed and says: (rough quote from memory) “I don’t think our soldiers would have saved Americans like American soldiers saved me. They would have left them to die. There was something different about the American soldier that makes them truly special – they showed mercy. For that I am grateful.”
I have heard the same story from French families waiting in line at the US cemetery in Normandy, just above Omaha Beach. The US soldier, with rare exceptions, showed human decency. They didn’t pillage the local villages, they didn’t rape the local women like other armies. They were known for their Hershey candy bars they gave to children. We are grateful for their sacrifice. We should be just as grateful for their treatment of people who often didn’t deserve it.
I hear Americans aren’t “exceptional”. I beg to differ. The greatest men who ever walked this planet went to Hell in WWII, and brought not just peace, but a different way of treating people. For that, American Veterans, thank you for keeping my family safe, and thank you for showing the world 70+ years ago that we can choose to love our enemies. I hope we learn that lesson soon from the dying generation of heroes, because I see way too much hate for our fellow man in the current generation of Americans. To my Father in Law, Brother in Law, Grandfather, Uncle, friends, and everyone who has every put on a uniform, Happy Veterans Day!