A Great Fate Awaits when You Date Your Mate

A Great Fate Awaits when You Date Your Mate

Repeat after me:

date your mate

Soulmates and Unicorns are great fantasy.

Soulmates and Unicorns are great fantasy.

Soulmates and Unicorns are great fantasy.

Tweet it:

Call your grandmother and tell her.  I’ll wait.Date your mate

Ok, I have you in the right mindset now.  I’m not trying to ruin your ideal relationship, or if you use the term “soulmate”, I’m not going to smirk and roll my eyes. (Okay, I will, but not while you are looking.)

I’m REALLY trying to help.  REALLY.

One of the huge problems with the idea of a soulmate is it allows us to think we don’t have to work on our relationship anymore.  I have found the “ONE”, so they have to stay with me.  That’s a recipe for getting relationship lazy.  It also begs the question – what happens when your “soulmate” decides you aren’t the “one” anymore?  Guess you must not have been soulmates.

So, now that we have that settled. (I’m sure no movie, Cosmo article, or famous celebrity will use the term soulmate anymore.  Rolls eyes AGAIN.)  Let’s get to work on what does work to keep a great relationship.

The answer:

date your mateDo the same things you did when you were first dating.

Go DO things together!  Spring for a babysitter, or at least find some friends who will swap off with you.  DO NOT always take your kids out to eat with you.  No more medals for never being away from your kids until they graduate from college.  It’s NOT healthy for them or you!

Dating your spouse is the most important thing you can do to keep the romantic flames burning.  This builds trust and desire that are necessary to keep a relationship going long term.

Here is a list of 22 things you do this weekend!

date your mateWhen you go out, make new dreams for your future.

We enjoy meeting our partner because we have hope in the future.  When the bills and kids come, it’s easy to get wrapped up in our day to day life and quit dreaming.  Here are some questions you can ask each other on your dates:

  • Where and what do you want to do for our next big anniversary?
  • What would you do if you had the time?
  • What is the favorite part of your life right now?
  • What about life is better than you thought it would be before we got married?
  • What is the perfect day for you?
  • What can I do to help you reach your dreams?

Notice.

1 – No talk of children.  It’s not that talking about them is bad, but we have a tendency to spend ALL of our time talking about that and not much about each other.  I recently took my wife, Mary out on a date.  I asked her what she wanted to do.  She said she wanted me to focus on her and her dreams and ideas.  That’s not selfish, it’s the model for a great date as long as both of you feel heard and focused on.

2- No negative talk of problems.  There are lots of times to talk about problems.  A date isn’t one of them.  Remember that date you went on where the person spent the whole night complaining about something?  You couldn’t wait for it to end!  Dates once your married should be no different.  Be positive focused.

So, there you go!  I’m going to stop here so YOU can go plan a date!  Create the habit of spending a few hours together and you will see the long term effects will make a huge positive influence on your relationship!mike hattabaugh relationships

So get out there and-

Make YOUR Relationships GREAT!

Dr. Mike

Don’t know how to break the old habits of your relationship? I can help with relationship coaching!  Schedule a   LIVE relationship coaching session HERE!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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