You Need an Adventure in Your Relationship – Here’s How.
I’ve known many couples who seem to be married to the right person. Everything about them seems to be a good fit. They have the same beliefs, compatible desires for what they want with children and lifestyle. They even seem to be living in a fairy tale marriage.
But they are miserable.
They aren’t telling each other they are miserable, but secretly, they wish they were free, unattached, and going anywhere but where they are.
When my wife and I were on our honeymoon we went snorkeling in the ocean. Now, I am a good swimmer, but I had never been snorkeling in the ocean. My new bride didn’t know that. She was not a great swimmer and was not that excited to go. I rented the equipment, told her I would keep her safe (I was a certified lifeguard,) and off we went. She had a death grip on me as we swam out to a reef of Isla Mujeres near Cancun. Soon, we began seeing beautiful tropical fish and plants. Her grip lossened on my arm as she realized the salt water made her float easier than a pool.
It was exhilarating to dive below and look up and wave to her as she began to enjoy the process. We now go snorkeling any time we get near a place to do it. It is one of our “adventures” and it is one of my fondest memories of our honeymoon.
Adventures help long-term relationships rekindle the passion you had when you started. They are a VERY important part to a healthy relationship.
But, adventures can also be part of everyday life. A health crisis, new job, empty-nest, and many other changes in our lives give us a chance to create an adventure together. The only thing keeping it from becoming an event that grows you together is your attitude about it. Adventure demands you look the problem in the eye, then look at your partner and say “together we can do this!”
You see, many couples (or 1/2 of a couple) make the mistake of thinking that marriage is when you grow up. That finding the right person to settle down with and have a family (or not) means becoming an adult. Gone are the care-free days of singlehood. Hello house payment and 401k.
While some people are very happy settling into this life, you don’t have to. Here is the mindset you MUST change to make your long term relationship the best it can be:
Find an adventure you BOTH can go on together.
It doesn’t have to be athletic, costly, or even what others would call an adventure but it has to accomplish these things:
- It must involve both of you at the same time.
- It has to be outside both of your comfort zones.
- It will require planning or at least a dramatic change in your schedule.
- It will take RISK. Not crazy risk, but risk in doing something new.
So go for it! Create an adventure together, and you might find the passion you thought you had lost for your mate. It’s not only worth the try, it will create the atmosphere that will allow your relationship to go to depths you only dreamed it could. You NEED an Adventure in Your Relationship
So get out there and do it!
and remember –
Make YOUR Relationships GREAT!
I’d LOVE to hear from you! What “adventure” would you like to take with your partner? Leave a comment below!
And here is a a short video on why you should plan your life together: